JOKE: Giving money to street lady

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”

“No,” I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked “No,” I don’t waste time shopping, the homeless woman said.

“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, ” I’m not going to give you the money.  Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded.  “Won’t your hubby be furious with you for doing that?  I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine .  


Patent Bar

You do not have to get a law degree to take the patent bar and become a patent agent:


If you have a science degree or enough credits to get a science degree, then you can take the patent bar and file patents and do some other things.

Quote: Our deepest fear

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’

– Marianne Williamson in Return to Love: Reflections on a Course in Miracles

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies” He responded.

“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”

Joke: Water and Beer Education

Water and Beer Education

WATER…… It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water
each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking BEER because alcohol has to go
through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

 WATER = Poop


Free yourself of Poop, drink BEER!!!


It is better to drink beer and talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

Chairman, Chairwoman, or Chairperson

Ok, I know it is a minor, insignificant thing. But I could not help turning it into a research project. It appears that Patricia Dunn has been referred to as chairman, chairwoman, and chairperson. It seems that a lot of the mainstream press such as MSNBC and NYTimes use Chairwoman. But HP and CSPAN (title shown during the hearings, not listed below) use Chairman. Then some really “off beat” sites use Chairperson. I personally think that HP should be the authoritative source for how the head of its board is called.



“…Patricia Dunn, chairman of the board…”

“…Patricia Dunn as chairman…”

“..The fate of Patricia Dunn, Chairman of Hewlett-Packard Co. (HP),..”


“HP’s Dunn her chairman’s job”


“Chairwoman Patricia Dunn resigned Friday”

“HP chairwoman Patricia Dunn resigns, effective immediately”

“Chairwoman Leaves Hewlett in Spying Furor”


“Shakeup Continues at HP: Dunn to Step Down as Chairperson”

“Chairperson of the board, Patricia Dunn”

“Hewlett-Packard board yet to decide chairperson Dunn’s fate”

Windows Vista, .NET Framework 3.0 Runtime and Windows SDK Downloads

Windows Vista, .NET Framework 3.0 Runtime and Windows SDK Downloads


Windows Vista: Speech Recognition

Windows Vista has speech recognition software built in!!  It is pretty good.  It recognizes most of the things I say, and there are easy commands to navigate around and correct errors.  The amazing part is that it is just built into windows.  No need to buy additional software.  Also, it integrates very well with the windows environment. 

Summary Update

This past week has been extremely busy at work.  We have been working on multiple projects, each alone would require full time effort to do well at it.  Between all of them, the stress just continued to build.  I am so glad it is the weekend.

Though I have got to tell you that the weekends are not necessarily less busy.  They are just busy in a different way.  From the close of work on Friday to the beginning of work on Monday we have the following regular activities: tennis lessons, soccer game, tennis group practice, and piano.  This weekend we also have a birthday party and a den meeting.

Even with that going on, I have managed to install Windows Vista Ultimate RC1.  So far, I really, really like it.  I think window users everywhere will be happy once they see it.  It is the look and feel of the Mac, with all the programs that we are familiar with, with a whole bunch of built in features that we used to have to buy additional software for.  Anyway, let me just leave it at “I’m really impressed” for now, and give you the details in a better post.

I finally went to Wolf Camera and tried out the Canon EOS digital camera.  It was really nice.  For the starter kit, you can get it for $799.  The only thing I don’t like about it is that it requires a compact flash card.  I have gotten attached to the SD cards and have quite a few of them.  Is there a SD to CF converter?  Please leave a comment if you know of one.

Also, we watched “Superman Returns” at the $1.50 theater.  Christopher feel asleep in the middle and then woke up at the end asking lots of questions.  Everyone seemed to like the movie.  It was an OK movie.  Maybe I will get a chance to post a review.

Now it is time for dinner.

How to restrict a cells in Excel

Microsoft Office Assistance: Prevent invalid data entry in a worksheet

Explains how to limit an Excel cell to:

  • Items from a list
  • whole number within limits
  • decimal number within limits
  • date within a timeframe
  • time within a timeframe
  • text of a specified length
  • calculate the limit based upon another cell
  • use a formal to calculate what is allowed