Just to make you smile………From today’s Sydney Morning Herald
EASTER has been celebrated around the world in the traditional manner.At the White House, President Shrub took the first ceremonial bite from a 181-kilogram hot cross bun baked by the Bible-Believing Halliburton Executives of America and called for world peace.
“This cookie is why, um, we got Eden and Eve in The Garden of, er, Adam and all that stuff,” the President said. “The United States will not leave Iraq till, um, them folks there get with the Bible good news.”
In Rome, pilgrims from around the world flocked into St Peter’s Square to hear the midnight Easter message from Pope Benzedrine. In a solemn ritual as old as Christianity itself, television cameramen battled to obtain a close-up shot of a pious but regrettably ugly nun clutching a candle.
Speaking in his native German and then a language Vatican officials believed might have been Swahili, the Pontiff called on the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby to come forward and confess.
“Zeigen Sie uns das Geld,” he told the crowd. “Show us the money.”Best xx
Entries Tagged 'jokes' ↓
[BJEmail] from down under
April 16th, 2007 — jokes
[BJEmail] Don’t Mess With Old Ladies – Wednesday’s Humor Contribution]
April 14th, 2007 — jokes
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding…
- Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
- Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
- Older Woman: Oh, I see.
- Officer: Can I see your license please?
- Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
- Officer: Don’ t have one?
- Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
- Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
- Older Woman: I can’t do that.
- Officer: Why not?
- Older Woman: I stole this car.
- Officer: Stole it?
- Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
- Officer: You what?
- Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
- The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
- Officer 2: Ma’am, would you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
